I never realize that I am half a person when not in the woods. Anytime I am in the deep dark I feel myself swell. Like my soul inflates and I am a whole person again. Yeah, I live in a rural town surrounded by the same woods that lift me up. But it's not the same.
Remoteness. No cell service. Working long hours. I feel more alive there than pretty much anywhere. Except for fishing. The siren's call of fishing and the ocean is a constant. I was built for labor. No two ways about it. I need to feel my body scream and ache with work. I need to be physically tired every evening. I want bruised forearms and scraped knuckles.
I need the woods. But they don't need me.