Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Tempura icky

We love fried food. I can do without chocolate, sweets, candy, cookies, sugar cereal, ice cream, caramel or cake but I would rather die than to live without onion rings. Sadly, our burg has pretty sorry onion ring prospects. Late in the winter we usually get a hankering for Margie's huge, fantastic onion rings. They are an artery clogging piece of heaven on a plate. If you are ever in California, driving 101 and see one, go. You won't be disappointed.

Honestly, a person could dip toenail clippings in batter, deep fry it and I would eat it.

Since we are intrepid Alaskan Pioneers (hahaha), we tried to make tempura. The prep for tempura is an exercise best paired with a beer. You don't want too many beers because the prep is chopping things. It's best not to cut off your fingers--but I bet they would be delicious fried. We fried: sweet potato, yellow squash, broccoli, daikon radish, carrot, clams, and of course onions. It took about a hour to prep all the veggies and dry the clams.

The batter was mixed, the oil was heated to 375 degrees (holy crap that is a hot, spattery mess). The secret to tempura is cold batter, hot oil, and having a professional do it. Mine turned out a bit anemic, but edible.

Except for the broccoli. It was sooo grossssss. It sort of sank in the wok of oil (it was too heavy for the batter to make it float) and got burned. I took a bite. I spit it out. I really only tolerate broccoli, I can never make myself actually like it. But this was double plus ungood.

See. Barf. Would you eat that? That's what I thought. (Doesn't the Dirty Fisherman have excellent chopstick technique?)

The clams were a bit...chewy but otherwise fine if you chewed twice and swallowed them whole.

I think next time I'll just do onions. Or just fry the batter. We don't fry often because it makes a helluva mess and sometimes sets off the smoke alarm. That %$@# smoke alarm.

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